|
MoonlightDancer16
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Sabina Pleasure
Country: United States
Gender: Female
Interests: God, dance, music, cars, poems, family, food, driving around to random places, swimming, being outdoors, being with friends, taking pictures, goofing off at work, calling random people to say random things, running, reading, writing, guys...hmm...guys...guys with cars! Did I mention guys ?! lol...
Expertise: Dancing my heart out!
Occupation: Paparazzi
Message: message me
Yahoo:  mrs.rider
Member Since:
3/19/2006
|
|
| So I was talking to this guy.
and he was being really sweet,
and we were having a good conversation.
And I was starting to get butterflies in my stomach, even though the first time I saw him I thought
"Friendzone. Way out of my league."
Then he told me, '"I hope this doesn't freak you out, but I've looked through all of your facebook pictures."
FYI, I have more than 1000 pics on facebook so I was like.....wow...
but instead of feeling creeped out, i felt myself blushing, incredibly flattered!
....then i remembered the part in Twilight where Edward says, "I've been climbing through your window to watch you sleep for the past month,"
and Bella's like, "omgzz, I'm like, so flattered!"
Now I'm like.............am I becoming Bella? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!
| | |
| I used to like Twilight, but I guess you could say I grew out of it, especially after how disgusting the fourth book was (in my opinion.) I was always on Team Jacob, and the last book ruined it for me.
When I really think about it though, there are so many things wrong with Twilight. It's not just the anti-feministic views, the many plot-holes, or the way Bella gets everything she wants without lifting a finger.
Edward is seriously perverted. He's like this 107 year old man watching this girl sleep.
Bella says she would still love Edward even if he wasn't a "vegetarian" vampire, and she had absolutely no problem with the fact that he committed numerous murders. I think if I found out someone had murdered people (regardless of the circumstance) I'd be like, pardon me while I scream and run away then call 9-11 because this murderer just casually confessed his crimes to me!
The fact that Edward breaks up with Bella and then goes off to kill himself in the most ridiculous way possible after discovering from a secondhand (or third-hand, actually) source that his ex-girlfriend (the same one he broke up with!) is dead shows that he has a serious mental disorder.
Because the story is told from Bella's perspective, its difficult to disagree with her sentiments, as her point of view pervades the story telling. However, Bella also seems to have some serious mental problems. Girls who read this at an impressionable age will unconsciously associate the way Bella acts with the way someone "normal" should act. While Bella seems fairly normal for a teenage girl (whiney, selfish, and sex-driven) she is in no way a standout "example" of a good person. In fact, she's exceptionally stupid (Oh my gosh, Edward's a VAMPIRE! I only JUST figured this out! That means he'll probably eat me! But I'd rather die than stay away from his HAWTNESS!)
I think one of the reasons Twilight has such a widespread appeal is because it's teaching girls that even if they're selfish and whiny, they deserve someone who is obsessed with them and thinks that's they're "perfect" and "special" and "beautiful" while they do nothing to upstand any character. It's really the type of empty fantasy that everyone loves to hear about. (I'd liken it to someone living on the street who suddenly wins the lottery) Basically, it teaches girls that the way they need to be treated is 100% devotion; and if that devotion translates into creepy behaviors or emotional controlling techniques, then it is acceptable, because that's what true love is; and that's what they deserve for being a "special" human being.
Which leads me to another unhealthy way of thinking that Twilight seems to advocate. Bella has a superiority complex towards the human race. Wow! Even though she herself is human before Sparkly bites her, she takes almost no interest in any of her classmates except to express her annoyance that they are bothering her, such as when Mike or Eric ask her out. When she does take an interest in them, it's only for her own purposes. (eg, she goes to Port Angeles with Jessica and Angela because there's a book she's looking for related to her find-out-about-Edward quest. Or, in New Moon, when she discovers that doing dangerous things lets her hear Edward's voice, so she suddenly gets all chummy with Jacob Black, who can fix up some motorcycles for her.) Most of the time she considers herself "better" than everyone else, even her dad, whom she looks down on for not being able to cook, and her mom, whom she looks down on for being scatterbrained. This is not a mature attitude; in fact, I think it's very childish.
I think Twilight takes normal desires of teenage girls, such as the need to be accepted, pursued, valued, and loved, and then distorts them. Edward's obsessive creepiness is considered romantic by Bella, and his extreme over-protectiveness and controlling behavior is considered sweet.
After Edward leaves her, Bella falls into a depression where she isolates herself completely from everyone. She's probably afraid to get over Edward because that would mean she never "loved" him. Sure, break ups are hard, but the mindset that you're never going to get over him is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. The underlying message that this book gives is that if someone leaves you, you should isolate yourself completely and become a zombie.
"If you can't become a vampire, become a zombie instead."
so, to recap:
Edward
- murderer
- stalker
- pursues someone 87 years younger than him
- mentally unsound
- controlling
- suicidal
Bella
- Superiority complex
- Social reject by choice
- Incredibly insecure
- Yet snobby?
- It's okay to zombify yourself after a break-up
- Complete dependency on Edward
- Plain stupidity
- Complete obsession. No hobbies, no life, no nothing.
These are the problems I have with the characters and underlying messages. As far as the problems I have from a literary perspective-such as the plot, (or lack of plot) storyline, gaping plot holes, and everything else that makes these books epic fail, I don't think I'm even going to bother.
| | |
| And bought a parachute at a church rummage sale.
This song makes me remember those times when anything could mean anything. When a backyard wasn't a backyard, but an adventureland. When having a boyfriend meant rollerskating with him at the skating party...and if you were holding hands with him... well then.Dreams change.
My dearest ambition is no longer to create a lake in my bedroom (I tried, and failed...well, my parents were less than thrilled about buying a new carpet.)
Or even roller skating with a boy. What else is there after that? When I was little, I always wanted to work in a toll both. I don't know why. Apparently that's the most depressing job ever! Funny how when you're little you never realize what work is. You think that good things will just happen. I mean they have so far, right?
Dreams change.
Dreams change, but as long as you have them, they give you something to live for. The most painful thing is giving up a dream that meant everything to you. Especially when you feel like there's no substitution for it.
But, every time I look back, I see that there was something good that came out of it.
Sometimes even, something better than the dream that I gave up.
Does that mean that there's always something better ahead?
I have to believe that it does.
| | |
| Maybe you could take one moment of your life and make it into a postcard. You'd write a few things on the back and send it away. Summarize everything that happened with one picture and a few hastily scrawled sentences. Sure, it may not mean anything at the time, but one day you may look back at the thousands of postcards you've collected and realize you wouldn't be where you are today if it wasn't for all the places you've already been.
For me, I think the moments that stand out the most are the moments of change. Like that feeling you get when you're in a new place and you don't know anybody at all. Turns out that that red-haired girl with the freckles you sat down next to the first day of class is now your best friend. Turns out that the boy who smiled at you one day and teased you mercilessly the next actually asked you out, and ended up breaking your heart. Turns out that the people you thought were your best friends are the people who tried to ruin your life, and that girl you thought was way too snobby to ever be friends with you, is now the girl you do everything with. Maybe it all started with a smile. One friendly greeting, and everything changed.
It turns out my favorite moments aren't so definite they're written in stone. Some of them haven't even been captured forever, never photographed and never written about. They're the simple things, like staying in bed when it's snowing outside. It's that feeling you get when the ocean first comes into view, with all the waves and sand and sea-air rushing at you. Maybe it's sitting down underneath a tree and watching the patches of sunlight dance with the patches of shade. It's walking outside on the first warm day of spring, when there's still snow on the ground but the sun is shining and it feels so warm you want to throw away your winter coat forever and take off your shoes and walk in the mud.
Maybe it's those feelings of accomplishment, when you surprise yourself by doing something you never really believed you could do. When you stop crying over someone you felt you'd never get over. How about that moment when you're all nervous, and you hear the words, "all right, you've got the job." And you feel like you've just conquered the world. When you get your exam back with an A. You were sure you were going to fail, even though you stayed up 3 straight nights studying for it. Maybe it's standing up to someone who goes out of their way to hurt you. When suddenly you find it inside yourself to confront them, to tell them that what they're doing is not okay. Maybe it's learning to forgive. Learning to let go. Saying, what you did wasn't right, but it's not between me and you anymore. It's between you and God.
Maybe those defining moments are moments of rebellion. When you scream and shout, or maybe just go and do your own thing, ignoring the consequences. When you say things nobody really expected you to say, and fight for something nobody really expected you to fight for. In the end, you might realize that none of it was even worth it. Maybe it would have been better if you'd have just did as you were told, stopped asking questions, and stopped trying to prove how tough you were.
Sometimes our defining moments are those moments when you realize that you really made a mistake. And maybe it's going to be embarrassing to admit that you did something wrong. It may take a lot of humility. It may damage your pride to say the words, "I'm sorry." But after you've said this, it becomes one of those moments that makes you who you are. A moment when your true character shines through...a moment that makes you into a better person.
Maybe that's what growing up is all about.
| | |
| Memories. They are powerful things. They're one of the key aspects that define who we are. Most of us don't actually dwell on memories a lot. We take it in stride, but live in the present, although of course we still remember. If you're haunted by a memory, it must hold a lot of importance for some reason. I'm talking about the memories that you relive the most often. The memories you keep thinking about, maybe subconsciously, and don't understand exactly why. I have a few.
The field. I guess I never really figured out why I think about this all the time. I don't think about it as much as I used to, but I wrote about seven poems about it, and I used to have dreams about it every night.
It was late September of last year, and it was a gorgeous Friday afternoon. The kind of afternoon that holds a promise of winter and lingers of summer. When all the leaves were changing, and new patterns were just becoming settled. I finished my last class and was in an incredibly good mood, because the class had been interesting and left me with a lot of things to think about, which was a good feeling. Not to mention that it was the weekend, and it was still warm outside. I opened my phone as I left the classroom and read a text from a guy I had met only earlier that week-his name was Stephen. "Hey come watch the flag football game with me, if you want to that is, but if you don't it's cool." I smiled and ran across campus as fast as I could. I stopped before I got to the field, caught my breath, and walked over to Steve as casually as ever, masking my eagerness to see him and nonchalantly saying hi. When he saw me his face lit up into the biggest smile I had ever seen, and I felt stupid for pretending not to be excited to see him. We sat down in the grass and talked for about five minutes, before one of my roommates texted me and I stood up to leave. "Do you have to go?" He asked, making no effort to hide his disappointment that I was leaving. "Just stay."
"No," I said. "I should go, but I'll see you soon." As I turned to leave, a particularly bad collision occurred on the field, and Steve's roommate was lying on the grass with blood flowing from his mouth.
My Angel. This is another memory that I think about over and over again. I tried to stop replaying it, but it keeps coming back every time I feel like happiness is slipping away.
I was a wreck. No matter where I went, I couldn't hold back the tears. There was so much sadness in me that I thought it would never end. I felt like I was breaking, like every piece of me was broken glass and was being swept away with every passing second. I walked out of my dorm determined to go to class that day-I couldn't afford to miss another one. Somewhere along the walk from my dorm to the library, my resolve weakened and the broken part of me surfaced again. I wasn't going to make it. I'd just go to my car and cry again. I could not sit through another class when I was so broken inside...there was no way I could stop the tears. I couldn't control it, and I felt them coming. And I prayed, "God, if you want me to go to class you have to give me the strength because I can't do this." The path to my car was ahead and I began walking toward it when for some reason I looked up. When I looked up, I was looking into someone's eyes. A guy I barely knew, in fact. Just a guy from one of my classes who had made some friendly conversation with me once. When he saw me, we looked into each other's eyes for about a second, and then he smiled at me. It wasn't just a polite smile, it was a real, genuine from-the-heart smile. I felt like light had just gone into my soul and cast out all the darkness in half a second, and I smiled back.
He was gone. He was gone, but everything felt different. I didn't feel like crying anymore. I felt happy all of a sudden. I found the strength within me to go to class instead of going to my car. And then I realized that I had just unthinkingly smiled, and it felt good. It was the craziest, most mixed-up, happy feeling in the world. Since then, me and (said guy  ) have become better friends, and we talk almost every day. There's nothing romantic between us FYI, I don't think there ever will be, but even now I secretly think of him as my angel. He doesn't know, but I think someday I'm going tell him how he changed my entire day with just one smile.
| | |
|
|
